Thursday, June 01, 2006

Drew Moments

Here are a few good moments that I recall from Drew's visit to Holland:

* We are at a pretty empty bar in the afternoon. Drew needs to piss so he goes to the pisser. Comes back a few seconds later - both pissers are taken. 5 minutes go by and no one has exited the pisser. I decide that something is off, so I go to check the pisser myself. As I am getting up, Drew says something along the lines of "They are locked, but if you figure out the secret - let me know". I go to the pisser, notice 2 huge signs that say "Key to toilet at the bar". I do a quick 180 and see Drew with a "Told you so" look on his face. I walk right by him and get the keys to the pisser. At this point, Drew is looking a little less victorious, and asks how I knew to get the key? The two signs I tell him. "Well, I don't read Dutch!" says Andrew. At this point the barkeep decides to let him in on the secret that both the very large signs were in english. I had to rub that one in a bit as you can imagine.

* "Oh my god, they actually sell peyote here? How is this legal? This place is crazy!"

* After two nights of heavy drinking, we decide to hop on a train to Texel. Texel is a vacation island that had potential for good fun so we gave it a shot. We were in a rush the whole way there, just catching the train and bus which resulted in neither of us having time to go to a bank machine. We get off the ferry at a very abandoned terminal and look for a bank machine. We find one, but the lady working at the snack bar tells us they closed it for the night. WTF? Why would you close a bank machine? So we are SOL with no cash. This means we have no way to pay for the bus to town and are left with no choice but to walk the 6km. Not cool since it starts to rain. After getting soaked, hearing some cow sex and walking about 1km, I manage to flag down a car. The guy happened to be from the town that our hotel was in which was 10km away, so we got a lift all the way there. That was sweet. We figured our bad luck had been used up for the night, but not really. Check in, clean up and hit the strip. Well the kitchen of EVERY restaurant closed at 10pm, and it's 10:05. Shwarma it is. Fuck I hate that crap. Then we decide to check out the only place on the strip that seems to have any life left to it, some "Apres Ski" bar. Weird but whatever. Walking into the place reminds both of us of highschool dances in the gym, and when we actually get through the hallways into the 'dance' we quickly realize that the instinct was right. A quick 180 is in order and we bolt. Off for one uphill pint and bed. I felt like puking up the shwarma but at least the double bed was actually 2 beds with separate sheets so no spooning was necessary. The next day we pick up some supplies (read liquor) and attempt to get the fuck off the island. The bus screwed us a bit since the schedule had some fine print that I initially missed, but we eventually managed to get to the ferry and off the island. As the boat pushes off, Drew proclaims "See you in Hell, Hell Island!". That is the new name for Texel, Hell Island.

* And of course "I need to steal a fiets!"

1 comment:

Andy Locoweed said...

Haha- nice.

What about some classic Joe moments?

So were sitting in the Banana bar watching a live sex show and I'm explaining to Joe about how putting a few drops of Visine in someones drink will supposedly make them violently ill (from both holes), and being the good friend I am I offer you a trial. Your comment:
"Yeah; cause that's what I want. I want to shit myself while I watch a monkey fuck someone."
That's a classic buddy! :P